Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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