I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize