I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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