If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
