That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
