Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
