the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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