apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize