if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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