mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
