My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
