Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My liver just broke up with me...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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