she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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