Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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