So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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