I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
