What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
