my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
