No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My vagina is very pro this idea
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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