Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
