just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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