Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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