Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
