whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
