You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
