Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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