i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
