"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
