He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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