Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
