You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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