I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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