my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
this will be a night to untag.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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