Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
