operation harelip BJ is a go
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize