i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
