If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
