I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
