so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
