found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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