Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
