Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
