i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
