he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
