My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
