I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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