It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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