I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
did you just send me my own nude
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
