We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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