it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
And then my night got REAL pukey
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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