Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
