I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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