margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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