you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
