Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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