I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
